Priorities

Over the past few weeks I have been re-assessing my priorities and where my heart truly is and I have come to the realization that choosing what and who comes first is a conscious effort. Similarly, deciding to cling to one thing supremely over all others is a conscious effort. "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." Matthew 6:24

Are we supposed to love our spouse? Of course! The Bible commands spouses to submit to each other and for the husband, as the head of the home, to love his wife as Christ loved the church and sacrifice accordingly. In Titus, wives are instructed to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be reviled.

Are we supposed to love our children? Of course! "Children are an inheritance from the Lord; the fruit of the womb a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127

Are we supposed to work hard? Of course! God created Adam and then put him in the Garden to work and keep it. "If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their own work quietly and to earn their own living."

But where are your priorities? What is important to you? What do you focus on the most? "For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit."

We were created by God for a purpose - to love and serve HIM in ALL things. HE is supposed to come first in our list of priorities. HE is supposed to be our primary concern and focus. HE is supposed to be what the world sees when they look at us. HE is supposed to be the One we strive to please. HE is the standard we are supposed to live by. HE is the Rock we're supposed to stand on. HE is higher than anything and anyone. "Since you have been raised to a new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3

I have been struggling with how to deal with my ex-husband. For the most part, I do well to not act out in anger and after forgiving myself and him for the things that went wrong in our marriage, I am striving to continue being positive even when he's not. But even on my best days, days when I don't have to deal with the realities of a visitation weekend or a missed child support payment, I am still tempted to say bad things about him. I am still tempted to call him derogatory names in passing conversation with relatives or give an ear to negative conversations about him. But is that a reflection of a pure and righteous life in Christ? No! So I am ceasing this behavior.

I have been insecure about being a stay-at-home mom. I mean, come on. I have two hard-earned Bachelors degrees and I'm ridiculously smart sometimes and being a stay-at-home mom doesn't bring in a lot of revenue. But when earning my degrees, I worked full-time and went to school for 22 hours at a time, missing out on the first 5 years of my eldest son's life. Missing out on a lot of ministry potential. Living physically and mentally drained all the time. And since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I am being blessed continually by these two sweet boys. I am able to pour more of myself into my marriage, a much-needed ministry, and a relationship with God. I feel refreshed and renewed and at peace 98% of the time. And the closer I've gotten to God over this period of time, the less insecure I feel about making the choice to be home right now. No, we're not able to splurge a lot financially, but I think my husband and kids will remember time spent with a Godly woman who's positively-invested in them more than a toy or video game or vacation.

And now that my husband is coming home from deployment in a few weeks, my priorities are shifting again. I am no longer going to be the hyper-vigilant military spouse who sends two or three care packages a week and jumps at every phone call and door knock. I wiil no longer be the temporary single mom who juggles the household and kids alone and has to suffer through stomach bugs and ear infections without a tap-out partner. My focus will shift from solely two kids and me, to having the husband and daddy in the house again. And I will have to take my God-focus into new places in my marriage and the dual-parent household.

When we are choosing to pursue Christ whole-heartedly, we have to make the conscious effort to put Christ first and everything else has to fall lower down on the priority list. Christ becomes the window through which we see the world and the ever-present voice that guides us in our day-to-day decision-making. When we place Christ in the #1 spot and let him take control, everything else falls into place. But it takes a conscious act of surrender to allow that to happen. Love your spouse, love your kids, work hard at your job but keep God first! "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."